Surviving Times Of Uncertainty
Hello dear friends,
Here we sit, in our respective homes, watching, waiting, unsure of what each day will bring. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill, or at the very least, required a radical shift in daily operations. In the midst of stay-at-home orders, empty grocery store shelves, and a plummeting stock market, we’re thrown into a new kind of limbo. A hazy, mirage-like place between selves, between identities, that most of us have never experienced before. Millions of people are suddenly out of work, with restaurants, schools, and theaters shuttered for an indeterminate amount of time. Others are having to adjust to working from home, or care for their kids full-time...often both.
So, where does that leave us? As individuals? As humans? As a collective? What are we being called to do with this challenge before us? What is the path through the fear, the anxiety, the anger?
I know that I’m perhaps a bit late to the game, writing about the current world situation. Many people have already churned out blogs on how to stay productive or how to make the most out of this “downtime.” I’ve seen a (somewhat disturbing) trend of subtly pressuring people to use this time in quarantine to finally write that book, learn that new instrument, or start that side hustle. I think that, while well-meaning, these kinds of messages only lead to more fear and shame. I don’t know about you, but in the midst of a global crisis, unemployed, stressed-out, unsure of what’s coming, is the LAST time I want to be told to get up and “be productive.”
The first thing I might share with you then, is to let go of those messages. You don't have to clean out your closet, or start a new workout plan, or learn a new language right now (or ever). You don’t have to launch a small business, or Marie Kondo your entire house either. During a time of crisis, when your very health and livelihood are threatened, it can feel downright IMPOSSIBLE to do anything beyond the bare minimum. And that’s okay.
It’s okay if you feel like you’re barely hanging on right now. It’s okay if you haven’t showered in three days, you’re living in sweatpants, or your house is a mess. It’s okay if you’re struggling to work from home, or struggling because you can’t work at all. Whatever you are experiencing right now is okay. No matter what anyone else says.
Another problematic message I’ve seen circulating lately is the joking about how “fat” we’re all going to be, coming out of quarantine. Aka the #quarantine15. There is a lot of talk about how we’re all gaining weight or letting ourselves go during this time. And while this may seem innocent at first, here’s yet another layer of shame, for how our bodies look or function. It’s completely normal to be drawn towards heavier, more comforting foods right now. It’s normal to be eating more than you usually might, and it’s normal to gain weight right now. NONE of these things determine your worth.
Whenever we face a crisis like this, we’re being called to tune into the root chakra. This pandemic has thrown into sharp relief our most basic needs- shelter, food, sanitation, and social support. These are directly the themes of this chakra- safety, security, material needs, tribal family, etc...When these things are threatened, our little lizard brains go into overdrive, desperately trying to find ways to create safety. This can lead to things like hoarding physical possessions (toilet paper included!), as well as hyperfocusing on food/eating more than usual.
There are many different ways that our little lizard brains try to reclaim a sense of safety- fight, freeze, or flee are our three basic modes under threat. And right now, many of us are feeling these, as they manifest in our bodies- perhaps sitting paralyzed on the couch for hours on end, sniping at housemates, numbing out with food/alcohol/drugs, or whatever else. If any of these sound like you right now, you’re not alone. These are all things my clients have mentioned over the past couple of weeks.
So, what can we do?
First, wrap yourself in as much compassion and forgiveness as possible. Remember, your brain and body are just trying to keep you safe. This won’t last forever. Allow some flexibility in your coping mechanisms. Allow yourself to REST.
Second, instead of getting too caught up in all the things that you can’t do, try to focus on what you can do right now. You may not be able to go out and meet a friend for coffee, or attend a concert, or go on a trip, but you are probably able to cook yourself a nice meal, listen to your favorite album, or Facetime a loved one. Instead of thinking of the things you have no control over, bring your attention to things that you do have control over, like turning off the news, getting some fresh air, or taking a few minutes to meditate.
Third, I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “If you don’t see God in the crisis, look for God in the response.” Whatever your personal beliefs may be about the force for good in the universe, we can probably all agree that it’s hard to see the light or justice in a tragedy like COVID-19. But it’s always there. Focus on the beauty, the courage, and the compassion that is coming out in response to this challenge. Surround yourself with positive stories of people getting better, people helping out, people sharing joy. Those stories are everywhere right now, if you know where to look.
Fourth, create quiet and stillness whenever you can. You may feel your little lizard brain resisting this at first, and that’s okay. Carve out some sacred space to just breathe. This can be through meditation, doing art, taking a nap, sitting out in the sunshine, doing some gentle stretching, or whatever else feels good. Take time away from the TV, social media, and noise/stimulation in general, at least once a day.
Lastly, try not to let the isolation turn into too thick and impenetrable a cocoon. It’s easy to sink down into the loneliness, despair, and depression, especially for extroverts and those used to lots of social support. While we may be separated, we’re not doing this alone. Reach out and Skype a friend. Share funny memes via text with your siblings. Chat with a therapist online. Join a free streaming class. Start a Netflix watch party with loved ones. Use technology to stay connected to the world right now, without guilt.
And for those who are really in a rough place, here are some free resources:
If you’re stuck in quarantine/isolation with an abuser: https://www.thehotline.org/ or https://www.safehorizon.org/
If you’re having suicidal thoughts: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
If you’re dealing with worsening substance abuse: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Remember that this pandemic won’t last forever. Yes, it is incredibly tragic and terrifying right now, but it is temporary. This too will pass. Don't be too hard on yourself. Relax into your heartspace and breathe now and then. We will get through this together.
In light of our current situation, and my privilege to still be able to work right now, I am offering a very special discount on 1:1 healing sessions. Through the month of April, I am offering 50% OFF all single sessions- Reiki healing, energy readings, and acute support coaching. I wanted to provide greater access to these services right now, because I know the value of this kind of healing and sacred space during times of crisis.
You can book your session below. Use the code WEGOTTHIS for your 50% discount.
Stay safe, everyone. Sending you all much love and many blessings.
