8 Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting Brain Retraining
Hello dear friends!
It’s coming up on three years since I officially started my brain retraining journey, and boy, it has looked quite different than I thought it would! And while I did a ton of research before committing to a program (typical TMS personality, right?), I didn’t find a lot of personal insights on things I should know along the road to recovery. I wished there had been more honest accounts of what to expect, or ways I could tailor these programs to meet my needs. So, I figured it was about time I made a post about exactly that.
And before we dive in, this post is written from my own personal experience doing DNRS and the Gupta Program, and won’t necessarily be applicable to everyone. It’s important to know that while the underlying principles of limbic retraining are the same, how they’re implemented can make a big difference. Psst- if you’re not sure if brain retraining is the best option for you, or how to choose the right program, I’m here to help!
Assuming you are looking for root-cause healing from limbic-related conditions like ME/CFS, POTS, Fibromyalgia, or Long Covid, you’ve likely heard of brain retraining before. But if you haven’t, I highly suggest you read this post first, where I outline the science behind this approach and also compare/contrast the two main programs on the market today- the Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) and the Gupta Program.
Okay, now that all that’s out of the way, let’s just jump right in!
Here are 5 things I learned, that I wish I knew before committing to limbic retraining for chronic illness recovery:
1. You don’t need to do it perfectly
Before I started and during the first year or so of my practice, I would regularly hear testimonials of people who recovered saying they never missed a day, and they were 100% committed with their rounds/meditation/etc. I even talked to several coaches who encouraged me to keep up with the routines no matter what. So, I got the message that total compliance and perfect attendance were needed, if I wanted to heal.
Now, thankfully, I know that this kind of pressure only triggered my type-A, perfectionist brain, and ramped up the stress signals. It took me a while to learn that I didn’t need to be as diligent, and was able to be more relaxed and carefree with the tools. And hint- it wasn’t until I let go of the rules completely, that I made significant progress.
2. There will be big ups and downs
Teaching your brain how to feel safe again isn’t a linear, additive process, even though it seems like it should be. There were many days/weeks when it felt like I was back to square one. To be fair, some people did say that limbic recovery isn’t a straight upward journey, but I had no idea just how turbulent the ride would be (for me anyway, remember, you may have a different experience!).
Our subconscious minds are always picking up on thousands of signals every moment, and we may never truly know which signals are getting crossed and amplifying the brain’s danger alarm, creating symptoms. Our brains are also very good at routine and prediction patterns, and there will be resistance to new pathways and new ways of being. And it’s pointless to try to keep track of it all, which brings me to…
3. Don’t try to figure it all out
This was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn (and am still learning, tbh), especially coming from my research and science background, and being an A student all through school. Taking notes, tracking variables, reading studies, etc are some of my skill sets, and can make for an effective researcher. However, they only worked against me in retraining my brain!
When you’re focused on every little thing, or you go into “figure it out and fix it” mode whenever a symptom arises/worsens, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. And send more danger signals to your nervous system. This is the epitome of focus + fear, which keeps symptoms stuck.
4. Your practice will evolve
When I first started DNRS, I was happy that there appeared to be a formula to follow and I thought if I did the same practices every day, I would inevitably recover. Similar to when I started the Gupta Program. And I did this for many months, before realizing that it’s okay for my daily practices to change, flow, and evolve over time. I experimented with longer and shorter rounds, taking breaks from rounds altogether, adding meditation/yoga nidra, doing just the positive visualizations, joining laughter yoga groups, and more.
Eventually, although I do think learning the basic tools through one of these programs is incredibly helpful, I accepted that brain retraining doesn’t necessarily have a strict formula. And accepted that recovery tends to happen faster when we can be flexible, adaptable, and creative. Remember #1!
5. Let go of the timelinE
It’s impossible not to come across timestamps in this journey. We’re told to give brain retraining at least 6 months to take effect, and there are many recovery testimonials that talk about how many months or years it took. But focusing so much on the time and how long it is taking to feel better (i.e. “what am I doing wrong?” “why have I not recovered by now” etc) is only a recipe for more stress and internalized pressure.
Of course, we all want to be 100% recovered at the 6-month mark. But I’ll tell you that hasn’t applied to many of us, and that’s okay. Once I stopped counting the months and stressing myself out about it, life got so much more enjoyable. It is perfectly normal and no big deal if your recovery takes a few years (some think the average time is between 2-4 years). Everyone’s brains and situations are different. Stop watching the clock and go do the things you can right now.
6. Don’t forget about bottom-up therapies
When it comes to healing trauma, regulating the nervous system, and recovering from chronic conditions, there are two main approaches. Top-down modalities start in the mind/brain and travel down into the body (examples include brain retraining, meditation, talk therapy, affirmations, etc). Bottom-up modalities start in the body, and send messages up into the brain, and include any type of somatic practice. It took me over a year and a half to incorporate some somatic therapy, and it made a big difference!
The vagus nerve, the main nerve that goes from our brain to our organ systems, has two branches- the efferent fibers run from the brain down the body and make up only 20%, while the afferent fibers going from the body to the brain take up 80%. It’s important that your body is able to send messages of calm and safety up to your brain too. Here are some to get you started.
7. Pushing yourself may only delay your recovery
Perhaps by now you’re sensing a theme, that pressure, perfectionism, and stressing yourself out about retraining your brain are only going to make things harder. And this includes pushing yourself far beyond your nervous system’s limits, which we especially see in the “incremental training” part of the process. I ended up in many “ebbs” or flareups because I tried to push too quickly, without building a foundation of calm in my brain first. Turns out, after 12+ years, my brain was terrified of so many things, even though it didn’t seem rational at the time. So, I tried to do lots of activities, eat lots of new foods, etc in the name of brain retraining or exposure therapy, and experienced more setbacks than leaps forward.
Don’t let anyone tell you to push beyond your window of tolerance, especially when you’re first starting. Yes, it’s good to find small challenges, but you may need more time than you think to calm and regulate your nervous system first.
8. It’s okay to take medications and supplements along the way
When I learned all about the limbic system and how the brain can create symptoms, I was so inspired and wanted to go all in. So, I stopped taking all the supplements I had been taking, which at the time was over 25 different ones. I also became obsessed with getting off my Rx medications. After all, it made sense to me that if my symptoms were simply created by my brain, I didn’t need to take any of this extra stuff. And while that may be true, that leap was far too intense for me and resulted in some serious setbacks (because there was so much fear and psychological dependency, not because my body required them). Eventually, I settled into a slow, incremental pace of weaning off many of the supplements and meds I was taking.
Don’t pressure yourself into dropping all your “supports” as I call them, especially your Rx meds (please, work with a doctor). And don’t shame yourself for continuing to take them through your retraining. It doesn't mean you’re not doing it right or that you can’t recover. Many of my fellow retrainers take sleep meds, vitamins, antidepressants, and more, and it’s okay!
My personal experience with brain retraining and nervous system regulation has been a roller coaster ride, and after nearly 3 years of this process, I have certainly learned a lot of things that I didn’t expect to learn. So, I have a feeling there will be a part 2 to this blog! Stay tuned.
But in the end, it’s all been worth it!! While I still have some more ground to cover and goals for myself in my recovery, I have gone from living a small, isolated, fearful life to doing things I never imagined. I moved across the country. I am rock climbing again. I’ve competed in archery tournaments. I go for hikes and started lifting weights again. I eat whatever I want without stress. I’m able to work more and take care of myself financially. I have an incredible, fulfilling partnership. And I know that my life will continue to expand and flourish!
If you are at the beginning of your own brain retraining or chronic illness/pain recovery, I encourage you to give it a real try, and to keep these things in mind. Your journey may look different than mine, but I’m here to support you along the way if you need! You can schedule a coaching session right here.
And if you haven’t signed up for a program yet, I might recommend going with the Gupta Program, for the reasons outlined in this post. Yes, both DNRS and Gupta are great, and you can make wonderful progress with either, but Gupta’s felt more accessible and relaxed to me, and has a more holistic approach. There is also Curable, the DARE Response, and Rebecca Tolin’s program, which I love too.
Okay, my friends, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you have questions about starting your own limbic recovery journey? And fellow retrainers, what might you add to this list?
Wishing you all joy and ease, as always,
