Weathering The Big Sad- 8 Ways I Manage Depressive Episodes
Hello dear friends,
I was describing this to my therapist the other day- it’s like having a big curtain in my brain. This big piece of fabric partitions pieces of myself and I’m not able to access some of my higher functions. But I can still see through that curtain- I can see the joy, the productivity, the hope just on the other side. I just can’t seem to get to it.
Everyone’s experience of depression is different, so I’ll just say that upfront. These are my thoughts and feelings, and my tools for coping with depressive episodes. I’ve been in one for the past 8 weeks or so, after running on adrenaline during my move back in June and then crashing hard a while later with pretty big burnout and a physical flare too. I’ve been through several others since getting sick 12 years ago. Each has been different, and as I remind myself, each has passed. None have lasted forever.
So in case you are also experiencing a dip right now, my friend, or want to bookmark this for later, I wanted to compile my list of ways I am weathering The Big Sad.
1. Light therapy
I’ll admit, since moving to a place that doesn’t have a backyard/patio, I haven’t gotten nearly as much sun or fresh air. And I know that this has an effect on my mental health. So I’ve been making sure to get at least 20-30 minutes of sunlight or bright light every day, ideally more. I’ve sat out on the balcony for a few afternoon rays, or on days it feels physically accessible, I’ll go visit a park or nature area. And on days where the sun isn’t shining, I pull out my “happy lamp” for a morning and afternoon dose of full-spectrum light.
2. Dietary change
There is some good research that links depressive moods with blood sugar instability, so I’ve been extra mindful of eating more fat and protein with my meals. This has honestly been a challenge, since when I’m feeling sad, I just want to eat sugar and other processed convenience foods! But I have noticed that I feel more emotionally stable when each meal has healthy fats and proteins, including nuts/seeds, meat, fish, eggs (especially the yolks), coconut or olive oil, etc.
3. Counseling
Good lord, where would I be without my therapist? I have been very lucky to have a great therapist that I see weekly, for the past several years. She is my nonjudgmental sounding board, someone who can hold space for me and let me talk through anything I need to. With unlimited kleenex, yay! Knowing that I have this space every single week has been a powerful anchor for my moods and release valve for my overwhelm.
4. Connecting with friends
As an introvert, and someone who is generally more isolated due to health issues plus an at-home career, I have only a few good friends. But I know those people have my back if/when I need them. I’ve tried hard to reach out and connect with my social support network, either for a few texts here and there, going out to an event, or even asking for help with something. When it’s tempting to hole up at home or lay on the couch all day, a short positive interaction with a loved one can really shift things for me.
5. Deep rest
I think it’s interesting that phonetically “depression” sounds like “deep rest.” This is a realization that I’ve just brought in during this past episode- this invitation into true restoration. This for me has looked like scaling back on client sessions and other work projects, going to bed earlier, having more screen-free time, more meditation (see #7), yoga nidra, lower lights, less noise, and using binaural beats/nature sounds regularly.
6. Practicing receiving
If you also work in the healing/helping professions, you can probably relate to this- I am great at giving and holding space for others, but am not so great at receiving. I’m trying harder to prioritize being on the receiving end- whether that’s a specific modality like Reiki healing or craniosacral therapy, or simply receiving a listening ear or a helping hand. This allows me to step out of my “role” and into being a flawed, struggling human, and also allowed others to step up and support me, which I know is its own type of blessing.
7. Being the curious observer
Just like I mentioned with the curtain in my mind, I am able to step back and observe my thoughts and feelings as separate from my true self. Being the curious observer (a basic technique in meditation and mindful practices) allows me to get a wide-angle view of my situation, and understand that I am not these sad, hopeless thoughts- they’re just like clouds passing through the sky. I’ve been doing more meditation- just sitting with my breath, the sounds around me, sensations in my body, and watching my thoughts with loving curiosity.
8. Creating opportunities for joy
A few weeks ago my therapist reminded me to keep creating opportunities for joy, even if I can feel it right now. It’s important not to give up on making space for joy, pleasure, connection, and peace, because we never know when it’ll break through. This hit home for me, as I’d been frustrated at not feeling the same levels of happiness during my usual uplifting activities, and kind of stopped prioritizing them. Now, I do my best to give joy a chance to show up, and notice even the smallest glimpse of it. Each time I do get a little nibble of something good, I practice savoring and wiring in that experience, to swing my biochemistry back towards DOSE.
These things have offered me some stability and hope through this latest dance with The Big Sad, and I hope some of them may help you as well. I have a piece of art on my bookshelf in my room that has two hummingbirds (my spirit messengers) on it with the words “this too shall pass.” I see it and reflect on it every day, knowing that the sun is always in the sky and that the clouds will part like they always have, letting its rays shine through.
We’re in this together, my friends. One day at a time.
~ Take care and be well ~
Much love,
