When Relationships End- Part II
Hello dear friends,
Okay, so, you’re actively healing in the aftermath of a breakup. You’ve given yourself the time to rest and restore, you’ve asked for signs from your spirit team, and you’ve done your cord-cutting ritual. (not sure what I’m talking about? Check out PART I first!)
So, what comes next?
CLEANSE THE ARC LINES AND WOMB SPACE
After a relationship ends, and you’ve given yourself time to rest, cleansing is the name of the game. Once you’ve done your cord-cutting, it’s time to move on to cleansing the body’s energy field.
There is a reason why these posts/tips are going in order, I promise. You have to sever the connection first, before you cleanse. Otherwise it’s just like using a tiny bucket to dump out water from a sinking boat!
This ritual takes inspiration from many traditions, including Kundalini and Tantra. There are many aspects to the energy field, including the notion of the “arc lines.”
Arc lines are semi-circular highways of life force energy, and they’re important to cleanse regularly, but especially following a breakup. All of us have the main arcline, which runs from ear to ear, making a halo shape over the head. Women also have a second arcline, which runs nipple to nipple. Both of these absorb the energies of the people we’re intimate with.
The yoni and womb space is another vital area for cleansing. This is especially true if the relationship was sexual in nature (but even if you never laid a finger on each other, your sacral energies can be entwined, so this part of the ritual is still important).
I always use black obsidian as my cleansing crystal of choice. They don’t call it the “psychic vacuum cleaner” for nothing! I chose an egg this time, but you can also use one of the dearmoring wands. Ask a blessing on your egg or wand, to draw out any and all energies from this person, as it is inside you.
For the nipple arc line, I either wear a special crystal necklace that hangs low enough, or put a few cleansing crystals in my bra.
And for the main arc line, I borrow a movement from Kundalini, which is a simple sweeping motion with the hands. Holding your hands out in front of you, palms up, imagine filling your hands with cleansing water. Then, sweep your hands and arms up and over your head, almost like you’re throwing the water behind you.
As I make this motion, I say “I forgive you. I release you,” and repeat this motion for a few minutes, or until my arms get tired!
You can also sweep your hands in front of your chest, reciting the same words, for extra cleansing of the nipple arc line.
This last time, I left my yoni egg in for 44 minutes, but you can decide how long feels best to you. If you don’t have an egg, or are using a wand instead, you’ll probably have to be lying down for this, and so, can adjust the time as needed.
Other tools to cleanse the arc lines:
Smudging with sage, palo santo, or other sacred herb
Sound- singing bowl, bell, tingsha, etc
Bright sunlight
A spritz of Florida water or holy water
Because you want to leave your yoni egg in for a while, you can combine this cleansing ritual with some other “housecleaning” activities, below.
HOUSEKEEPING
Remember that everything is energy. That’s right- every dang thing. And if you want to move on after a breakup, it’s important that you make time for a little housekeeping!
After you’ve done your cord-cutting and cleared your arc lines, it’s time to tidy up. Now, everyone’s housekeeping will look dramatically different, depending on the style, arrangement, and circumstances of the relationships. So, take what applies to you.
Laundry:
Wash any and all items that this person touched (if possible). This is especially true if you shared a home or bed, or they spent a lot of time there. If they slept next to you, launder the sheets, blankets, pillows, and pillowcases. If they used the bathroom or shower, launder the towels.
Also, make sure you wash your clothes too, particularly any outfits you wore on special dates, or if any of your clothes smell like this person (a big one for me this time).
Declutter:
If you have items around your space that remind you of this person, or bring up painful memories, it’s time to get them “out of sight, out of mind.” This doesn’t necessarily mean tossing them out (you can if you want, of course), but simply stashing them away for a while. Grab a tupperware bin and gather up all these items. If you don’t throw things away, at least put them in storage for a while.
Digital realm:
This may be the hardest aspect of post-breakup housekeeping, but may be the most important. All those emails, texts, voice messages, photos, and the like, are sitting on your phone or in the cloud, taking up energetic space that they don’t need to.
Delete anything and everything that isn’t absolutely needed (if you’re going through a divorce or other legal proceeding, keep pertinent emails and conversations, but put them in a separate folder). Delete those mushy texts, and definitely delete all those sexy/cute pics- trust me, you’ll just be tempted to revisit them later, or you’ll accidentally stumble across them, and that’s NOT helpful!
Spaces:
Once you’ve washed, wiped, laundered, and decluttered, it’s a great idea to smudge and bless your space. There are many ways to do this- sage or other herbs, bells/chimes, bowls of salt, etc. Ask for help from your team of light in cleansing your space of this person’s energy, and then to invite in new blessings and new energy for the chapter ahead.
These are all important aspects of energy hygiene in general, but are particularly vital after the ending of a relationship. All these little acts help to close soul contracts, and the cycles of karma too. But, more on that in my next post!
CLOSING SOUL CONTRACTS AND KARMIC CYCLES
The last, and most important, phase following a breakup, is the integration. This period of reflection is what ushers in the personal shifts that are oh-so important to learning the lessons you needed to learn, and avoiding repeating patterns in future relationships.
Remember that every single person is here to teach you something, just like you’re teaching them. Every relationship has lessons, as outlined by the soul contract that you both signed before coming to Earth.
Other humans, especially those we are intimate partnerships with, are really good at holding up mirrors to our own shit. All of our relationships trigger us in some way, and the post-breakup integration is all about unpacking those triggers. Seeing the karmic patterns. Understanding the dynamics at play. And ultimately, coming into a place of compassion and forgiveness for that person, and yourself.
When you can sit back and genuinely say “thank you” and wish that person well, that’s when you know you’ve truly healed. This may take many months or years for some. But it all starts with the deep self-reflection of the integration phase.
I noticed that, with my last two relationships, I was seeing certain behavioral patterns, but from the other side. I was on the receiving end of things that I had previously given. BTW- this is a key sign that you have a golden opportunity to close a karmic cycle! And I highly recommend that you take it, and do the work, so you don’t have to repeat it. Acknowledge the pattern, feel the pain, release it, then do better next time.
As for soul contracts, you may have many contracts with this one person, but it’s still important to go through all the steps I’ve outlined in my previous several posts, to close out each one. For example, I am still friends or coworkers with a few of my exes. But I see those relationships as separate soul contracts. I still needed to close the romantic/sexual agreements, to be able to make that shift.
It’s perfectly okay to be friends with exes, or collaborate with them in some way (IF it’s not abusive, traumatic, or damaging to either of you). But for most people, that doesn’t happen until they’re well into the integration phase.
Karmic cycles and soul contracts are what guide each and every one of our relationships. Take the time to see them for what they are, and integrate your lessons after a breakup. Otherwise you’re bound to repeat them. (Earth School is a pass/fail system, after all)
Okay, my friends, I hope this blog series is helpful for you, and gives you some concrete rituals and tips that you can use, to manage your energy following a breakup.
And no matter where you are in the process, I’m sending you my best.
Take care, and be well.
