When Relationships End- Part I
Hello dear friends,
After my own breakup experience last month, it got me thinking about all the important rituals and pieces of energy hygiene that can help the healing process. When relationships end, or make a major shift, it’s key to follow a few steps, to restore your own energy, to cut cords, and clear the karmic cycles. I believe that taking the time and intention to do these things can make a huge difference in how you move on after a breakup.
I originally posted these on Instagram, but wanted to put these in a blog series as well. So, let’s dive into part I!
We’ll start with the first step:
DON’T RUSH THE RESTORATION
In the initial aftermath of a breakup, your energy may feel quite turbulent, and you may be tempted to act impulsively. But I’ll give it to you straight- now is NOT the time to launch yourself into anything. Now is not the time to burn all their belongings, get a drastic haircut, or rearrange the whole house.
The first few days after a breakup is when most people say things and do things that they later regret. Commit to mastering your own energy and acting greater than you might feel. And trust that these impulses will pass.
That first day or two is the time to rest, to breathe, to restore your energy, and clear your head. It’s time to let the frenzied energy settle down and for you to get some space.
Trust me, even if it feels urgent right now, the decluttering, paperwork, yoni cleansing, and cord-cutting rituals can wait too. (more on that later)
Try your darndest to carve out a little sacred cave for this initial phase of healing. Take a day (or a few) off of work. Say no to anything nonessential. And most of all, commit to NOT stirring the pot right now.
If possible, put your phone away completely, or delete your social media apps from your phone. Don’t spend a damn second stalking your ex, talking shit about them online, or posting anything dramatic (it’s a real temptation for some of us, lol).
Make sure to EAT, SLEEP, and SHOWER. These can be a challenge, depending on the severity of your breakup, but perhaps employ a friend or two to check in with you and make sure you’re doing the minimum self-care. I made a big pot of my favorite Chinese herbal soup, and it’s been wonderfully nourishing, even with my diminished appetite.
Get outside. Even if just for a few minutes. Get a few breaths of fresh air, and sunlight on your skin. Drag yourself out of bed if you have to.
Use your short-term coping mechanisms, even if they’re “unhealthy.” Don’t beat yourself up for having a drink, for getting high, for downing a box of donuts, whatever. The night of this recent breakup, I had to bust out the Xanax, and THAT’S OKAY. (mind you, I said short-term here)
Invest in Reiki if you can. Your energy will likely be quite turbulent and chaotic, and this can help you find calm, and settle your vital life force back into the right places, to prepare for your next steps. PS- this is not the session for clearing or cord-cutting, but more on that later!
THE SIGNS NEVER LIE
A few days prior to my breakup, I did a tarot spread. I pulled cards for different categories of my life- work, health, relationships, etc… and this is the card that arrived for the latter category.
The 8 of Wands is about rapid conclusions and quick changes. Even though it can be intense or scary, it’s a generally pretty positive card, as it suggests a sense of freedom and ease, after the swift conclusion transpires.
At first, I didn’t really know what to make of it. I thought of several potential possibilities within both of my romantic relationships at the time. So I pondered it, but then put it on my mental backburner.
Within 3 days of that card pull, the breakup happened. A rapid conclusion, indeed! Admittedly, the relationship needed to end, or at the very least, have a pretty big overhaul. And so, the 8 of Wands was spot on.
Sometimes, I forget the power of these seemingly-small signs. And then I get smacked in the face with examples like this one!
But signs come to us in many ways not related to tarot cards, too.
I’d had several intense and symbolic dreams over that previous month, suggesting that this relationship was going to end. This wasn’t during intentional dreamwork, or journeying, but I still took note. Some of them were quite difficult to shake off.
And when speaking about signs, it’s important not to skip over the obvious ones- those little red flags that come up during your interactions with people! These are signs too, just perhaps harder to interpret.
As someone who communicates for a living, and whose love language is communication/words of affirmation, I pay close attention to people’s word choices, their phrasing, their pauses, etc. I won’t go into detail, because that’s a boundary of respect for this person, but I sensed a sizable energy shift in their communication, that signaled a waning interest and investment in the relationship. I so desperately wanted to be wrong, but my intuition was on high alert.
In the end, right after the breakup, I reached out to my team of spirit guides and asked for a specific sign to confirm that this was for my highest good. And of course, my peeps always have my back, and I received my sign within the hour. (more on asking for signs and working with your team will be covered in my upcoming Energy Mastery course, btw!)
A final word- even if you receive clear signs like I did, it doesn’t mean that a breakup will be any less painful. But it’s just another opportunity to TRUST.
CUT THE CORDS
When you feel ready, after the initial restoration phase, cord-cutting is a key ritual in moving on. Check out the entire ritual instructions HERE.
Once you’ve done your cord-cutting, let’s move onto a few more of my cleansing and energy hygiene tips for breakups.
Read PART II
Much love, and take heart my friend,
